It's probably because I've spent too much time in the land of fiction, but I tend to live my life out inside my head. It's my greatest flaw.
Not only am I a hopeless romantic, but I'm also a huge chicken.
Not a good combination at all.
I have a bad case of the 'should have's...
I should have told him how I felt
I should have said yes
I should have had some guts.
I've always had an overactive imagination. It's probably why I love reading so much; I can truly escape - I can close my eyes and enter Narnia, or be inside Hogwarts, or even be at the centre of a fairy tale. This is probably the reason why I do so well on my own, I can always enter these dream worlds and be in a better place than the one I have left.
I live a whole life inside my head. I dream of one day meeting the One. I dream of someone holding a boombox outside my window, of kissing in the pouring rain, of being serenaded with a guitar in hand. We'd cuddle on the couch and watch movies together. He'd get along with my friends. Just looking into his eyes would make me feel all gooey inside. I dream of the great literary heroes paling in comparison next to my guy.
I want a story that starts with Once Upon a Time...
And ends with a happily ever after
But what does this lead to? Unrealistic expectations. Prince Charming exist, and even if he did, I'm the furthest thing from Cinderella. I'm a girl who loves watching hockey, drinking beer, hell, I can belch louder than most of the guys I know. I'm not the type of girl a guy sees from across the room and time stands still. I'm the type of girl who laughs a little too hard at a dirty joke. Girls like me don't get the leading roles, girls like me are there in the background, supporting cast.
I want so desperately for these grand gestures of love to really exist. But the truth is they're as much fantasy as LOTR. And yet, despite myself, I always seem to be waiting for something. Waiting for that picture perfect romance.
Maybe one day....
But for now I'm
Just Another Wide Eyed Girl
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